In the Horton household, we are on the “cut back on cable and watch everything through streaming video via the internet” kick. So, now most of our TV time is done through Hulu or Netflix. This has been such a terrific tool for us in managing what our children watch, and it has also helped my husband and I manage our own TV time (i.e., it’s easy to surf channels for two hours and watch absolutely nothing on regular television, but when you know a show is 30 minutes long and afterward you have to physically choose to watch or not watch another program, then it makes TV time management a lot more…manageable). However, the flip side of that coin is that it has given us access to a plethora of movies and shows that we have never and probably would never have seen otherwise. It’s like we’ve opened Pandora’s box!
“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.” (Proverbs 27:12, NIV)
I give this bit of explanatory back story because last night my man and I chose to watch a movie we had never heard of before but chose because it has one of our favorite actors in it. Now, most of what we watch are family-friendly shows in our house because the more we seek after godly principles of living, the more cognizant we are when we are doing or watching something that does not follow that same path. The movie we chose last night, however, was not family-friendly; in fact, it was rated “R.” I tell you this because even being the director of a women’s ministry does not exclude me from being very much in this world, surrounded by worldly things and temptations. This “R” rated movie was very sexual…it wasn’t in-your-face raunchy, but it was present enough to be considered like a character all of its own. You didn’t see it, but it was…there.
So, we watched the entire movie. It was a good-enough movie and it was grown-up time spent relaxing and movie-watching with my man, so we didn’t think much of it. Then, sleep time came…Oh, sisters, the dreams! Wow! I want you to know straight away that the dreams that were soaring through my mind involved my husband, so don’t think I am talking about anything dirty or adulterous. But, that extra character was very much a part of my entire night of dreams! That two-hour movie led to eight hours of sequel movies in my head.
“Who can say, ‘I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin’?” (Proverbs 20:9, NIV)
Ladies, we have to watch out for what we watch! What we listen to! Who we listen to! Who we allow into our lives! How we spend our time! How we spend our energies! It’s like that song, entitled Garbage In, Garbage Out (Tal & Acacia) says it, we feed our minds all of this worldly garbage and then wonder why we feel so dirty, so sinful, so convicted, so numb to the evils of this world. Let’s step up our game here, girls, and protect ourselves better than ever!
“Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.” (Proverbs 4:25, NIV)
This ministry is all about serving those who have one foot in church and the other in the bar, or another man’s bed, or in the liquor store, or wherever else. We are here to help serve those who know, but knowing just isn’t enough…yet. My own life is a complete open book. I am holding nothing back from you because I truly believe that it is only when we let those dirty little skeletons out of our closets that we are allowed to heal ourselves, grow and move past our pasts, and have opportunities to help others out of the destructive boat we were once in ourselves. That’s why I can honestly tell you that I was there…BIG time! I had one foot in church, serving, leading, teaching, directing; and the other was in a bar at every opportunity, in bed with other women’s husbands (I was single at the time with the thought “why should I respect that marriage if he doesn’t?”), and living life so far from what my church time taught or showed that it’s not even funny. I was going against everything my church upbringing had taught me, against everything my clean-cut Christian family had taught me, and against everything I knew in my heart to be pure and right. I lived this double-life for too long, and it was exhausting! I have been there…done that…and I didn’t buy the t-shirt, but I did start the ministry
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” (Proverbs 16:25, NIV)
Here is what I love about the leg of the journey I am on right now: used to, it would have been other women’s husbands that I was dreaming about, but last night, it was my own! “We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23, NIV), but this isn’t a ticket to keep on living the double-life, but a reason to keep striving to grow closer and closer on our walk with Him. This is the time when we must bind ourselves together more strongly than before, because no matter where you are on this journey of life, you have a sister standing next to you who could use a little help. So, let’s quit pretending that we have it all together and be real about our struggles as well as our successes! The goal here is for our today’s to be better than our yesterdays, and our tomorrows better than today! I do not even recognize the woman I once was, but that doesn’t mean I have it all together, either! When I have gotten everything right and served my purpose here on earth you’ll know it, because I’ll be gone!
I love you, sisters!
Make it a great day,